Dealing with Parental Mistakes

Hey All! Last week I was in Phoenix learning how to race cars…and now I’m a licensed Race Car Driver! (How Bad ASS?!?!)

Anyway, what I’m here to tell you about is a conversation that I had at lunch with a bunch of people that my sister and I went Ecstatic Dancing with. It started out with me describing what I’m building with Bad Ass Daughters. The conversation turned to an experience I had with my eldest daughter and how I made a really big mistake…like REALLY BIG…a YEAR LONG, REALLY BIG MISTAKE. When I finally realized what I had done (and was continuing to do), I bucked up and apologized to my daughter and started to mend the damage I had done due to my own insecurities and short-comings.

The verbal response I got from two members of the group, six people in total, was “WHAT??? A parent that admits wrongdoing and APOLOGIZES for it?!?! I wish MY parents would have done that!” Everyone else in the group sat there wide eyed, nodding their heads in agreement. One-third of the group was so struck by this that they had to speak out, but 100% of the group was stunned by the idea and wanted to hear more. How did it turn out? How did I rectify the situation? How has it played out now that 10 years have passed? (FYI, it’s played out beautifully. My daughter and I have a FABULOUS relationship.)

In looking back upon my example, I have to agree with them. It was a major turning point for me and my daughter. She saw me as human and fallible, but also as someone who was trustworthy in that I would NOT try and cover up my mistakes, that I would own them and try my best to rectify them and not make them again. It’s given us another dynamic in our relationship…not only do I help her as a mother, but sometimes she helps me adult to adult. It’s turned our adult relationship into one of friendship. There will always be the dynamic of Mother-Daughter, but it has been softened. There is more give and take…AND I don’t have to be perfect in her eyes! That is SUCH a weight that is lifted.

What are your feelings about admitting wrongdoing to your children? Post your comments below!