So I had the pleasure of watching someone raise a Bad Ass Daughter last weekend. My husband and I went out to dinner last Saturday and a man came in with his 2 year old daughter and sat at the table next to our booth. I watched as he started to put her in the high chair and she refused. She clung to her daddy’s neck and wouldn’t let go. So he sat down in his chair and just hugged her. He did this a couple of times until finally she let go, but didn’t sit. She held on to her dad’s had and just bounced in the chair, dancing to her own internal music. She wore tennis shoes that had light up soles and I made a comment that they were very sparkly. She smiled at me and bounced a few more times. She then climbed back onto her daddy’s lap and bounced some more.
During this, we struck up a conversation with the dad. He was very patient with her as she explored her surroundings. She slid off his lap and onto the floor where she commenced to dancing. I commented on her dancing style and started dancing with her from my seat. She smiled and danced some more.
The restaurant was fairly empty, we went for an early dinner, and she ran over to an empty booth and started climbing on the bench, went and explored the plant that was on the shelf behind the booth, and danced some more on the bench. Her father was by her side ensuring that she was safe and wouldn’t fall off, but allowing her to explore and ensuring that she did not bother anyone during her explorations.
When the waitress came with their appetizer, the father showed her that it was time to sit down and snack and she willingly obliged, skipping over to their table, jumping into his arms so that he could place her in the high chair, and slipped down into a seated position. She patiently waited for him to portion out her food, then diligently went to work on it.
When she was done, up she popped ready for some more dancing. While she waited for her dad to finish his snack, she danced in the seat (dad holding her had all the while to ensure her safety). Once he was done, he reached out to her and she climbed into his lap, bounced around a bit, then slid to the floor for some more rigorous dancing.
When the rest of their party arrived he explained to the girl that it was time to sit at the table. She, being two, started to refuse. I was impressed at how the father handled this situation. He did not say “Tough, get in the seat!” or “You better mind me and sit down!” as I have observed other parents (and probably have done myself). Instead, he pulled her up onto his lap and had her observe the rest of the restaurant and explained to her that, now that the full party was there, it was time to sit at the table. She took a moment to watch the other people in the restaurant and think about what her father was saying. She then reached over to the high chair and began to climb in. She spent the rest of the meal sitting at the table, with only an occasional pop up to dance in her seat, but she never got out of her seat. When her meal came, she plopped back down and ate.
This was an amazing thing to watch. The dad was so allowing, but not in a bad way. He allowed her to be her two-year-old self and directed her in a healthy giving way. He also treated her as though she could understand concepts, such as times when it’s OK to dance and times when it’s NOT OK to dance. He explained a situation so that she could understand it in her two-year-old brain. In turn, she complied with his direction. She had the beginnings of understanding the social cues of what is appropriate in one situation, may not be appropriate in another. He treated her like an individual who could comprehend and understand the world around her. Even when she “misbehaved” and played a little too hard and unintentionally hurt him, he didn’t scream and yell at her. He stopped her from the play, sat her on his lap, and explained that she had physically hurt him by her action. They had a small conversation about it, she got the message, they hugged, and then it was back to dancing without the inappropriate behavior showing back up the rest of the evening.
When my husband and I were done with our meal, I squatted down so that I could be eye-to-eye with the little girl and I told her what an amazing young lady she was. I looked at her dad and thanked him for being a fabulous father and raising a fabulous daughter (didn’t want to use the term Bad Ass…even though she was!). I let him know that I saw a great future for her due to the way he was raising her. That little two-year-old is going to be somebody someday, even if the world doesn’t know who she is…she will change the world.
Bad Ass Daughters 